Always Love You
by Kierseth
Summary: SongFic Heralds Elisander and Anwyn reminisce about nights past.


Always Love You  
  
By Kierseth   
  
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize from Mercedes Lackey's books, I DO NOT own. That includes Valdemar itself and the concept of Heralds.  
  
Author's Note: All right! I cave! I told myself I wouldn't write a SongFic, but what do I do? Write a SongFic. Senashenta and etcetera-cat, I blame you!  
  
MAJOR writer's block it with In Time and Space. I'm trying to work through it, but in the meantime here's this.  
  
This is based on the 311 remake of Love Song, originally by The Cure.  
  
~~*~~  
  
Herald Anwyn sat by her lifebonded's bed, holding his cold, clammy hand. The furnishings of the suite were sparse, even though Elisander hadn't left it for over a year. Anwyn sighed as she gazed lovingly at her mate. The man stirred and opened his eyes. The deep blue was clouded with pain.  
  
"Hi," he breathed softly, seeing her look at him.  
  
"Hi," she said back, squeezing his hand, "How do you feel?"  
  
Elisander tried to take a deep breath and stopped, exhaling with a low rattling sound, "Not so good." he said with a weary smile.   
  
Anwyn brushed a lock of hair out of his face and caressed his cheek.   
  
"Do you remember that Sovvan Night?" he asked abruptly.  
  
"Which one? The year the Queen was crowned, or the year Alyn was born..." she trailed off, waiting for his answer.  
  
"Neither. About three years ago, right after Alyn was Chosen. We stayed in and watched the snow fall."  
  
"Oh yes. I remember."  
  
***  
  
Whenever I'm alone with you  
  
You make me feel like I am home again   
  
Whenever I'm alone with you  
  
You make me feel like I am whole again  
  
***  
  
"Elisander?" called Anwyn, walking into the room. The main room of his suite was dim. The light of a candle in another room allowed her to see the shapes of the furniture, but little else. She knew Elisander would want to be alone on this night, but she knew in her heart that she would need to be with him, even if he didn't want her to be. Sovvan Night was always an especially hard night for him. Another year without Jeria.   
  
A long silence. "Yes Anwyn." his voice echoed in the room, but she was unable to spot him. "I'm over here, by the window." She looked around and finally caught sight of him. He was hidden in a shadow by the window, his long cloak blending with the draperies.  
  
She walked over to him and took his hand. She said nothing, as there was nothing that could be said.   
  
***  
  
Whenever I'm alone with you   
  
You make me feel like I am young again   
  
Whenever I'm alone with you  
  
You make me feel like I am fun again   
  
***  
  
"You make me feel better when you're around. Less.... alone." he said slowly, gazing out at the softly falling snow.  
  
"You're never alone Ander. Never alone. I am always with you. Remember that."   
  
"It's just so hard. There's a giant hole in my heart where nothing can fit." his voice was thick with sorrow, "I miss her so much."  
  
"I know."  
  
"I want her back Anwyn. I need her back."  
  
"She can't come back Ander." Anwyn replied gently, putting her arms around him. "She's gone. No matter how much you want her back, she can't come."  
  
"She needed me. The foal was wrong and I wasn't there to help her."  
  
"She wasn't supposed to deliver for another fortnight. It wasn't your fault Elisander."  
  
"She needed me."  
  
Elisander turned and wept on her shoulder, her loving arms engulfing him.  
  
***  
  
However far away, I will always love you   
  
However long I stay, I will always love you  
  
Whatever words I say, I will always love you  
  
***  
  
He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. Tears filled his own, making them shine in the dim light.   
  
***  
  
I will always love you   
  
***  
  
"You'll see her again. When Shadowlover comes for you, you'll see her again." Anwyn said, wiping a tear from Elisander's cheek.   
  
"Soon. It will be soon" he said deeply, startling her a bit. His eyes were far away.   
  
She threw her arms around him and held him tight, "Not too soon," she prayed to any who would hear her, "Not too soon."  
  
She stood back as she felt him stand straighter. "Thank you for that. I needed a good shoulder to cry on." he took a deep cleansing breathe and straightened his shoulders.   
  
"I have two."  
  
***  
  
Whenever I'm alone with you   
  
You make me feel like I am free again   
  
Whenever I'm alone with you   
  
You make me feel like I am clean again   
  
***  
  
Coming out of her reverie, she looked out the window, seeing the snow begin to fall. She turned her gaze back to Elisander, his face suddenly peaceful, instead of lined with pain. Her eyes widened as she realized what was happening.  
  
"I love you Anwyn. I'll be waiting for you." Anwyn brushed back his hair again. She loved that lock, that rouge lock. Elisander smiled gently at her motion. He took a deep breath.  
  
***  
  
However far away, I will always love you   
  
However long I stay, I will always love you   
  
Whatever words I say, I will always love you   
  
***  
  
Anwyn kissed his cheek softly and closed his eyes.  
  
***  
  
I will always love you   
  
***  
  
~~*~~  
  
AN: OK, first time doing angst. If you feel the need to flame, do so gently. 


End file.
